


Bokuto Koutarou's awesome essay, written to prove to Kuroo why Nishinoya could never be a spy.

by BokutoTheBae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bouto wrote an essay, Bromance, Crack, Established Relationship, Gen, I haven't decided yet, Kuroo and Bokuto are dating and Kuroo is still shocked by the stuff Bokuto does, Maybe part of a series, Nishinoya can't be a spy, Other, Out of Character, Sorry Not Sorry, Tanaka tries and fails to sound cool/tough, everyone is really gay, everything is ooc, he's too dumb, it's trash, tanaka is loud, to prove kuroo wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 04:19:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4165560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BokutoTheBae/pseuds/BokutoTheBae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo was talking with Bokuto and said than Nishinoya could be a spy, Bokuto said no and Kuroo tells him to write a three-page essay on why. He didn't think Bokuto would actually do it. This is the essay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bokuto Koutarou's awesome essay, written to prove to Kuroo why Nishinoya could never be a spy.

Koutarou Bokuto

June 15,2015

 

Bokuto’s Totally Awesome Essay on Why Nishinoya Could Never be a spy Written Just to Prove to the bae he was Wrong

 

    Okay so I was told to write an essay on why Nishinoya could never, ever be a spy in the history of forever life and death and here it is. (Bam I bet you guys thought I

wouldn’t actually write it. But Lookie here, I did it.) Alright so first Nishinoya is like Super dumb, and we all know you can’t be dumb and be a spy. Like, if we could have dumb

spies I would have been recruited to become a spy like at birth or something. I would have popped out of my mom’s cooch with like a gun and a cool spy suit and fancy looking

hair and became a spy baby. How cool would a spy baby be? It’d be pretty fucking cool guys, like have you ever thought of the possibility of a spy baby? It would be amazing.

Like you can’t even argue with me it would be great.

 

    Alright back on the topic of why Nishinoya could never be a spy. He’s dumb and would totally blurt it out to someone in like an argument or something like that. It’d probably

go a little something like this.

 

“Hey, I hate your hair, your face is ugly and you’re dumb and short”

 

“Hoe I am a spy, back the fuck up, you piece of crap or I will shoot you. Like don’t even play.”

 

“Lol Sure dude. Just kidding you aren’t a spy.”

 

Then Nishinoya would cry one single manly tear.

 

    And if nishinoya didn’t tell someone in a fight then he’d definitely tell Tanaka in one of his bro feelings jams and Tanaka would totally blow Nishinoya’s cover. He’d be like “AW

SHIT MY BRO NOYA IS A FUCKING SPY. HOLD UP MAN I GOTTA HOLLA AT MY HOMIES!” THEN HE’D START UP THIS BIG SKYPE CALL WITH ALL OF KARASUNO AND LIKE YAMAMOTO

AND HE’D BE LIKE “GUYS I GOTTA DROP SOME SICK KNOWLEDGE ON YOU GUYS. NISHINOYA IS A SPY.”  AND THEN DAICHI WOULD LEAVE AND NOBODY OTHER THAN HINATA AND

MAYBE KAGEYAMA WOULD BELIEVE HIM AND THEN HE’D PULL OUT NISHINOYA’S GUN AND OTHER COOL SPY GADGETS AND THEY WOULD BE LIKE “WOOOOAAAAAHHHHH” AND

THEN OIKAWA WOULD SUDDENLY SHOW UP AND BE LIKE LOOK AT MY GREAT FACE AND MY LUCIOUS BROWN LOCKS OF MAGIC AND EVERYONE WOULD BE LIKE “EW OIKAWA TAKE

YOUR GROSS HAIR AND GET OUT OF HERE LIKE LEAVE” AND OIKAWA WOULD CRY AND THEN IWAIZUMI WOULD COME AND TAKE HIM HOME AND THEY’D TOTALLY MAKE OUT

AND MAYBE FUCK I DON’T REALLY KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP BUT IT COULD TOTALLY GO EITHER WAY. AND GUESS WHAT THIS WAS THREE PAGES SO SUCK

IT KUROO GUESS WHAT I WROTE THE ESSAY IT IS LONG AND AMAZING  JUST LIKE THIS DICK-. OH WAIT THIS IS ACTUALLY FOUR PAGES,( if quadruple spaced in 18 pt font) AND YOU SHOULD BUY ME DINNER TO

CELEBRATE THIS AMAZING ESSAY. BOOM. END OF ESSAY. GOODNIGHT TOKYO.

  
  


 

And now a word from our sponsor.

This essay was brought to you by the Bokuto is fucking awesome and writes amazing things foundation for owl protection and cool glasses production. To keep amazing essays like this in circulation please donate the small fee of 90000 dollars every two weeks. Please do it. Think of the children.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this was all bad, It's trash and I am trash, forgive me Haikyuu fandom


End file.
